Do you tend to rescue people from their problems or get enmeshed in dysfunctional relationships? Our free Codependency Test can help you to asses if you may need to work on strengthening your boundaries in your relationships.
Many people we talk to have problems setting boundaries in their relationships. They may have problematic relationships with people who are needy, dysfunctional, or addicted. Or they may care so much for their needy family member or friend that they give too much and get stressed out and exhausted!
Sometimes we try too hard to help someone we care about without realizing that actually we’re making things worse by enabling the person’s problem behavior to continue.
For the Codependency Test answer each question with “yes” (mostly true for me) or “no” (mostly not true for me). Circle each “yes” answer and count the total.
1. Do you tolerate mistreatment from people in hopes of being loved?
2. Do you depend on people who are emotionally unavailable to care for you?
3. Do you feel compelled to help people to feel better or to solve their problems?
4. Do you rescue others from the consequences of their irresponsible behavior?
5. Do you feel empty, bored, or unimportant if you’re not helping someone or responding to a crisis?
6. Is it hard for you to say “no” when someone asks you for help?
7. Is it hard for you to ask for help?
8. In close relationships do you lose interest in your own life?
9. Are you quick to get angry about injustices done to others?
10. Do you often talk about other people and their problems?
11. Do you worry about how other people are feeling?
12. Do you worry about other people’s opinions of you?
13. Do you keep quiet to avoid conflicts with people?
14. Is it hard for you to talk with a boss or someone else in authority?
15. Do you feel more comfortable giving to others rather than receiving from them?
16. Is it difficult for you to receive attention, compliments, or gifts from others?
The questions you answered “yes” to indicate that you struggle with that characteristic of codependency. If you have five or more yes answers of if you answered yes to any question that is very painful or problematic for you then you may have a problem with codependency, in which case you should seek in-person help from a psychotherapist and a 12 Step recovery group.