Breaking Secret Agreements – Collusions
Unconscious collusions in relationships harm people in families, friendships, church staffs, and work partnerships. In this case “collusion” does not refer to a conspiracy or…
Tag: Conflict Resolution
Communicating Emotion to Invite Empathy
Often in marriage or another relationship, we think we have an intimacy problem when really it’s more about a boundary problem. Boundaries between people get…
Couch Time for Couples
At the beginning of our marriage, Kristi and I were both working full-time jobs and going to graduate schools in psychology. Obviously, we didn’t have…
Jesus’ Way of Dealing with Anger
What do we learn from Jesus about anger in the Bible? Jesus’ way of dealing with anger is quite different than what we think today.…
Triangulating Hurts You and Your Loved Ones
Many families and groups are built on unhealthy “triangles” of three-way relationships that harm people and create dysfunction. It’s a simple concept, that once we…
Helping People Understand You
In a conflict situation it’s easy to get entangled in what the other person is doing that upsets me. But that’s not helpful — it…
Loving the Leaders Who Hurt You
Reconciling after a breach of relationship requires that you move toward the other with God’s love. This is true in all relationships, including if you…
Church Leaders Who Apologize
“I was forced to resign from my church.” 78% of pastors say this. Often these pastors leave their church hurt and angry, afraid their career…
He Lost His Pulpit and Found His Heart
Empathy. Tender-hearted concern for our feelings. We all need it — especially when we’re hurting. But sometimes we lose touch with our heart’s need. “I…
Bullied By Christian Leaders
Have you ever been bullied by a group? Or felt ganged up on? Maybe it wasn’t intended by them, but you felt abused? I have.…