Like many people in ministry, I grew up without the language of emotions. I discovered this in my college class on Christian Counseling. When my professor asked if anyone wanted to be her Teacher’s Aid I practically leaped out of my seat! I wanted to be mentored by her! The first time I went to…
At a coffee meeting, Pastor Sean lamented to me, “Another key leader left my church. I’ll probably never see him again.” “Why do you say that?” I asked. “I’ve been through this before. I can tell by the way he left. He just told me, ‘It’s time for us to move on.’ He wouldn’t elaborate.” “How…
My former pastor Bill Hybels did not learn how to fall safely. We all fall down in life, but have we learned to fall safely? When pastors and leaders for Christ fall unsafely it hurts them, their families, and the people they serve. As a mega church pastor with worldwide influence, Bill Hybels’ recent fall…
For most of my life until about age 40 I struggled with anxiety. Almost nobody knew it because I hid it and because much of the time I was listening to them talk. But, inside my mind circled with worries, my stomach churned, and my bowels were irritated. Others did notice that I was really serious…
If you were asked, “What is love?” How would you answer? Many people think love is a desire or a feeling and that’s why we say, “I love chocolate cake!” But really we just want to eat it! When love is degraded into mere desire it’s no wonder people “fall” in and out of love…
People get angry in different ways. You may raise your voice. Or react with harsh words. Or gossip negatively about someone. Or carry resentment. Or stonewall someone who has offended you. Or get depressed. Or you can follow the example of the Psalmist and offer an angry prayer. The Psalmist shows us how to deal…
Emotions get a bad rap in many of our Christian circles today. They’re vulnerable and get broken. They’re messy and don’t look right. We prefer thinking, analysis, doctrine, and three steps to a better life. “Believe and do what’s right,” is the typical message for how to follow Jesus and grow spiritually. “Emotions are the…
How can you be energized and enthused? What helps you to enjoy God’s presence in your life and as you serve the Lord in your work or ministry? At times we all find ourselves flagging in our faith. We need to go back to the Gospel of Jesus to appreciate the story of his life,…
Many families and groups are built on unhealthy “triangles” of three-way relationships that harm people and create dysfunction. It’s a simple concept, that once we understand, we can use to love one another better. The theory of triangles helps explain why being part of a family (also a small group, staff team, or church community)…
During the fourteen years that I was fasting from publishing books, Kristi and I were on a retreat with a group of church leaders. Being quiet and still before God opened up my heart so I became aware of feeling deficient and was tempted to break my fast. I felt I was not doing enough…