We all feel left out at times. We may feel unwanted and alone. Maybe there’s conflict in our family or our friends are busy. What to do?

At times like this it’s easy to feel sorry for yourself. Or to complain. Or to distract yourself by getting busy. I’ve done these things. But it’s so much better for my soul when I pick up my Psalms prayerbook.

One time when I did this my spirits were revived by the Psalmist giving thanks for his spiritual father who helped him to know that he was chosen and treasured by the Lord.

It warms my heart to remember my spiritual father, Ray Ortlund. Over a number of years my thirsty soul lapped up Ray’s enthusiasm for Christ every chance I could get: during conversations over long lunches, in his discipleship group, during spiritual retreats, and on our knees together in prayer.

Ray helped me to “Be all and only for Jesus!” And this helped me to know that it was really true that I belonged in the Trinity’s family! What joy is ours when we know by experience that each member of the Trinity has taken initiative to love us personally!

The Father treasures me as his child.

Christ chooses me as his disciple.

The Holy Spirit lives in me as his temple.

What spiritual father or mother has connected you to Christ? Who has helped you to know that you are precious to God? We all need at least one Christ’s Ambassador (2 Corinthians 5:20) to help us grow in our intimacy with Jesus.

To Ray I devote my little prayer of thanks, inspired by Psalm 135:1-4, 19-21: “The Lord Treasures You.” I invite you to pray – and smile! – with me.

In “Be Devoted to Christ like Ray Ortlund” your soul can be shepherded by Christ through Ray as mine has been.

Do you ever pray to the Father, Son, and Spirit? What a blessing it is to grow in your relationship with the Three-in-One! “O Trinity” is one of my favorite Trinitarian prayers.

In the ministry of Soul Shepherding we invite pastors and other ministry leaders into Trinitarian community. When a pastor has a safe place for soul care and intimacy with Jesus it empowers his or her ministry. You can help us shepherd the souls of pastors with your prayers or donations.

Bill Gaultiere, Ph.D. & Kristi Gaultiere, Psy.D. ~ http://www.soulshepherding.org

From time to time we all go through trials in which we lose heart and feel overwhelmed with discouragement, worry, or exhaustion. The painful times are “Dark Nights of the Soul” when our prayers seem to go unanswered and God’s comfort cannot be found.

All Christ-followers go through Dark Nights when God seems distant and prayer and other spiritual activities do not yield the experience of God’s blessings as they have in times past. But few people today have been trained in how to deal with these spiritual trials.

Inspired by Psalm 77, I wrote a prayer for the Dark Night of the Soul that I want to share with you.

Watch and Pray

The best time to offer this prayer and to meditate on God’s wisdom from the Psalmist is before you get to your next Dark Night experience. Prepare your heart now. “Watch and pray” with Jesus (Matthew 26:41). Get a hold of your self and pray to become the kind of person who when God seems distant, unkind, unfair, or just unhelpful you will still demonstrate your love and adoration for him simply because he is good.

Will you worship God when no blessings are coming your way? Will you trust that the Lord is with you and delight in him even when you are in the valley of the shadow of death and you do not feel his presence or help? The Psalmist shows us the way…

In the Night I Remember You

Help me!  O God.  Hear my prayer.

At night I keep stretching out my hands to you –

But my soul finds no comfort.

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I remember you and I groan with longing for you… Selah.

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I have lost heart.

I cannot sleep.

I am too upset to speak.

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I remember my night songs and I sing to you… Selah.

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Will you never show me your favor again?

Has your promise failed me forever?

Have you forgotten to be merciful?

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I remember your deeds of love and I meditate on you… Selah.

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Your ways, O God, are holy.

You are great and glorious.

With your mighty arm you have saved us.

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I remember your miracles and I give thanks to you… Selah.

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You path, O Lord, leads through the sea;

We follow your unseen footprints;

We walk by faith, not by sight.

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I remember you, Lord Jesus Christ… Selah.

I remember your cross of love… Selah.

I remember your resurrection… Selah.

I remember you sent your Holy Spirit… Selah.

More Soul Shepherding

The Other Side of Deep Darkness is another Psalm prayer for a Dark Night of the Soul.

The Lamb Became the Shepherd: On the Cross Jesus got through the darkest night by praying Psalm 23 — he is with you in your Dark Night of the Soul.

In Spiritual Direction ministry Kristi and I talk with ministry leaders and others going through a Dark Night of the Soul. We listen. And we help them to pray “Dark Night” prayers. This is one of the ways in our Soul Shepherding ministry that we help pastors, pastors’ wives, missionaries, and other Christian leaders not to burn out or blow out.

Soul Shepherding is a 501c3 nonprofit ministry funded by tax-deductible donations from individuals, fees for services to individuals, and honorariums from churches and other organizations.

William Gaultiere, Ph.D. & Kristi Gaultiere, Psy.D. ~ http://www.soulshepherding.org

I know what it’s like to feel lonely.

The worst thing is to be in a group of people and feel alone… Other people are enjoying conversation, smiling, laughing, but it appears that no one wants to talk to you and you start to feel more and more self-conscious.  It seems like people are looking at you standing there all alone. You feel awkward, anxious, embarrassed, bad about yourself.

Maybe you have felt this way too.

The Psalmist Felt Lonely

The Psalmist did. He described himself as a lonely bird sitting atop the roof of house and waiting for the Lord (Psalm 102:7).

Time and again the Psalmist shows us how to pray our way out of loneliness and into the arms of the Lord: “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted” (Psalm 25:6; see also Psalm 142:4-5).

Lonely Places with Jesus

Jesus knew this lonely way of the Psalmist, “Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).

Over seven years ago I began praying in lonely places with Jesus for extended hours on a regular basis and I experienced what might surprise you: His presence was with me – I wasn’t alone!

I learned to draw strength and nurture from the reality of the risen Christ with me in solitude. I grew to know—really know, not just think or feel, but sense with a settled confidence deep within me— that Jesus was indeed with me when I was alone. To help me stay in tune with the presence of Christ I meditated on Scripture and used it to carry on a secret conversation with my Lord.

Then for the first time in my life when I was in a group situation where I found myself left out of conversation I was able to trust that Jesus was with me caring for me and so I was at peace. Secure and confident in my belovedness to my Lord, despite being alone in a crowd, I was then free to pray, “Lord, show me who near me needs a blessing right now? Use me to be your instrument of love.”

Sweet Solitude

Solitude with Jesus has become so sweet to my soul. One day hiking with Jesus in solitude I watched a lonely bird and wrote a prayer poem to express how the Lord loved me out of my loneliness:

A Lovely Bird

On the hillside

A lonely bird

Apart from the flock

Standing atop a reed

Blowing in the wind

I’m longing for a friend

~

From the heavens

A Lovely Bird

A heart for the flock

Stooping onto my reed

Dancing in the wind

We’re singing together

More Soul Shepherding

The Bible is filled with promises of Comfort for the Lonely.

Pastors and other ministry leaders may struggle with loneliness too. Read about how you can partner with us to help them.

Bill Gaultiere, Ph.D. & Kristi Gaultiere, Psy.D. ~ SoulShepherding.org

“How are you… really? What do you need? What are you hoping for? How can I pray for you?” When someone expresses genuine personal interest in you it is healing. When you open up to grace it is life-giving.

But somewhere along the line we all have felt rejected… devalued… unknown… lost…

And we have learned to deny our hurts… not have emotional needs… distract ourselves from our inner pain… isolate…

We must come to the point where we cry out to God with the Psalmist: “May my cry come before you, O Lord… May your hand be ready to help me… I long for your salvation… I have strayed like a lost sheep. Seek your servant” (Psalm 119:169, 173-4, 176).

Jesus Christ answers this prayer – the first time you pray it to become a Christian and everyday that you are hurting or lost in some way. He promised us: “I go after my lost sheep until I find it” (Luke 15:4, paraphrase).

The Good Shepherd is always looking for you – to know you and be known by you, to invite you into a more personal and loving relationship. The question for you and for me – right now and every moment of every day – is are we looking to connect with Him?

Pray with me my little prayer inspired by the last verses of Psalm 119:

O Jesus, I have strayed like a lost sheep. May your hand help me…

Cry out to the Good Shepherd! Repeat the prayer of the Psalmist again and again, slowly, until it lives in you and your heart is warmed with the realization: the Spirit of Christ is indeed living in me and He is shepherding my soul in love now and always!

O Jesus, I have strayed like a lost sheep. May your hand help me…

Learning to Abide in Prayer has helped me to connect deeply with Christ’s love and to share it with others. I do it everyday. I invite you to practice with me this delightful way of prayerful meditation on Scripture.

The Bible is full of wonderful promises that God loves us in the way that a shepherd cares for his sheep. As part of a retreat I lead that is based on Psalm 23 I share Bible verses on the theme of “Walking with Good Shepherd.”

Thank you!

Bill & Kristi