Listen to this episode of Soul Talks:
Anxiety is the basic emotional posture of the head types. Some of us may rely on getting more information, or finding the right people, or simply get distracted with pleasures in order to avoid the feeling of anxiety. Join Bill and Kristi as they identify the unique challenges of each type and share how they can take their anxiety to Jesus.
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155 — Enneagram — Quieting Your Mind (Head Types)
Bill and Kristi Gaultiere
Kristi
God has given you a wonderful personality, but it’s been damaged by sin, stress, and pain.
Bill
We all have unhealthy and unloving coping mechanisms built into our personalities that we need to overcome.
Kristi
Let’s talk about how Jesus wants to help you repair your personal wound and grow in God’s grace.
Bill
We’ll draw on the ancient wisdom of the Enneagram filtered by a Biblical understanding.
Hello, friends, thanks for joining us on Soul Talks.
Today we are continuing our series on the Enneagram. And we’re going to talk about Head Types.
We want to give a shout-out to one of our favorite Head Types out there, Pastor Joe Johnson.
Hey, Joe, we appreciate you.
Joe is the founder of Heart of the Father Ministries, a longtime Lutheran who pastor lives here in Orange County, California.
He’s an Institute graduate, and also one of our Soul Shepherding associates.
He commented on our podcast we did some weeks ago on befriending our sadness, which is particularly on point here because Joe is an Enneagram Seven, which is a Head Type.
We’re going to be talking about the Head Types, the thinkers, and the challenges, gifts, and blessings they bring to us and the difficulties they bring to us in relationship.
We don’t normally think of Head Types as liking podcasts on befriending our sadness.
But Joe is a very healthy, redeemed Seven, and he says, “Hey, it’s helpful to me, your podcast, for identifying my limitations and the other losses that go with aging. I am grateful that Jesus is always tender towards my weaknesses, and that you reflect that tenderness in this podcast.”
Kristi
Jesus loves you, Joe. We do too.
We really need Christ’s tenderness through people with our weaknesses.
That’s why the Enneagram is so helpful to us because it it magnifies our awareness of our weaknesses, which is uncomfortable, and we may tend to avoid them.
But it does it with the purpose of helping us receive more of God’s grace, Jesus’ love and touch, and healing and what we really, really need that we’re so defended against from him.
Bill
So it’s a glorious thing when a Head Type gets in touch with their emotions.
Kristi
It is, yes. And the main emotion that Head Types struggle with, the Five, the Six and the Seven are the head types on the Enneagram…
Bill
Some people don’t know the numbers, so let’s explain those.
Kristi
Okay, so the Fives are the Investigators, the Gatherers, they respond to feeling anxiety by wanting to get more knowledge, more information, to secure themselves.
Then there’s the Six.
Bill
The Loyalists. Sixes are traditional, and they really support church, education, family, and the police force.
They’re very dedicated, hard-working, conscientious, and considerate people. There are a lot of Sixes out there.
I’m sure we have a number of Loyalists tuning in to our podcast here.
Sixes are right in the center of the Head Triad, which means that even if they develop one or the other wing, they’re still in the Head Triad there.
So they are real thinkers, problem solvers, and pragmatics.
Their heads are always swimming with thoughts and ideas about things.
They potentially have a short attention span and can juggle lots of things and move from one thing to the other.
Kristi
And Sixes are often preoccupied with trying to predict what might happen, the possibilities of what might happen.
Bill
Especially what might go wrong.
Kristi
Future casting and then planning to be prepared for it. That’s one of the ways they deal with their anxiety.
Bill
Then we have Sevens.
Kristi
Yes, Sevens. Sevens are people that are joyful and fun.
They are always planning the next thing, looking to the next thing.
Bill
Especially the next party.
Kristi
That’s right, because one of the things that Sevens are unconsciously driven to do in response to the anxiety they feel is to avoid it and avoid pain, sadness, and painful emotions.
So they can do that with new ideas.
They get a lot of good ideas and distractions.
All three of the Head Types, the Five, the Six, and the Seven, use mental analysis and ideas in their head.
That’s one of their strengths — thinking. And that’s one of the things they rely on most, especially as a defense to the anxiety. It’s underneath for the Head Types.
Bill
It can be uncomfortable when you’re with a Head Type.
You can feel awkward or nervous because you don’t know what they’re thinking.
Kristi
But you know they are thinking!
Bill
The Head Types in a situation will tend to step back and observe, analyze, and think about things.
Even extroverted Head Types don’t always manifest that because when they come into a group they want to observe, they want to figure out what’s going on.
Kristi
Yeah, it’s always a gift when I’m with a Head Type who actually discloses what their thinking is.
I find myself always amazed by how thoroughly they have thought through what they’re thinking about.
That’s true for the Five, the Six, and the Seven, even though I mean Fives pretty typically everybody knows, whoa, they’re really deep, thorough thinkers that have thought about the amazing amounts of knowledge that they’ve been gathering.
Bill
The Fives are just absorbing so much.
They’re observing and investigating.
They’re quiet, and they’re just taking in so much data, so much information.
Kristi
They don’t share it freely, especially in a way that draws attention to themselves.
So when a Five lets you into the amount of knowledge they have, and the amount of thinking they have on a subject, sometimes it’s like, “Wow.” It’s vast. It’s vast.
My dad was a Five, Dallas Willard was a Five. So we have an appreciation for Fives.
Bill
I was talking with a priest the other day, who meets with me for spiritual direction, and he’s a Five.
He had just recently watched the new Mary Poppins movie, and he just had so many details about that movie that tied into the first one, which came out when he was a kid.
It was just really interesting hearing all of that.
Kristi
Yeah. It’s also fun because Fives tend to have a really dry sense of humor.
So here they’re observing everything.
Then sometimes they’ll just say something about what they’re observing. And it just catches you off guard, because they’re genuinely not forthright with a lot of levity like the Sevens are.
And then it’s fun to hear.
Bill
Yeah, it can be surprising. So even if you’re not a Five, Six, or Seven, the great thing about the Enneagram is that you might have a wing in that Triad or you might have a line that goes there.
Kristi
You have a line to the Seven.
Bill
I do. So there is a Head Type in me.
The surprising thing that helped me, one of the many things that helped me about learning the Enneagram, is that I always thought I was Head Type because I’m a thinker on the Myers-Briggs.
Especially being married to you Kristi, who was a strong feeler, in the early years of our marriage, I was aware of how much I was a thinker, and how much I was in my head.
But as I got to know the Enneagram, I realized I’m a Gut person.
I’m more into impulse and into my body in the moment, the situation, and the environment I’m in, and that’s really what activates me.
It’s not the same as emotion, but it can kind of feel like that.
It’s this gut intuition and instinct within me.
So the Enneagram teaches me, “Hey, Bill, you actually need a lot of help to do some good thinking.”
Because if I follow my lines on the Enneagram, my orientation is the Gut Type.
I’m embodied in a situation and I want to read the room, read the read the situation, and the person I’m with.
Then in stress, I go over to the Four which is a Heart Type and Romantic Individualist and artistic, creative type.
That’s where I go in stress, I can get melancholy and get very emotional.
So it’s in growth, when I’m my best self, that I go over to a Head Type. So that’s interesting. You need more thinking from me.
Kristi
I see that though. I see a lot of that strong Seven in you and a lot of that really good clear thinking.
It’s helped me to understand that about you, especially when you get into all these great and grand ideas, the next project, the next project, the next project.
Understanding the Seven has really helped me to understand, “Oh, that’s where he is. That’s what he’s doing. That’s why he’s doing that.”
It’s helped me to have some more grace for you when I’m feeling stressed when you’re doing that.
Bill
Well, the more I’m in my Seven, the more the projects are fun.
Kristi
I like that part.
Bill
Ones and Sevens are both planners and organized in that way and looking forward.
But for the Ones, it’s more about implementing their ideas, teaching things, perfecting things, improving things, and reforming things or people.
For the Sevens, it’s more about experiences that are going to bring pleasure to me and the people around me.
Kristi
Yeah, and that are fun and are distractions.
Bill
Because the Head Types can get so much stuff going on there that they use planning the activities as diversions, to shut down the things that they’re feeling.
That’s why it’s such a great testimony from Papa Joe, that the podcast on sadness was so helpful to him.
Because he’s really done a lot of inner work to be more aware of his emotions and integrate that into his personality, which is a major theme of the Enneagram, whatever your type.
But particularly for the Head Types we’re talking about here, all that distractibility, all those balls juggling up in the air tend to take them out of the here and now and out of experiencing their emotions and the emotions of the person that they’re with.
So they really need help to get grounded.
Kristi
That’s right, and not to spin off in their head and be distracted and given to those next thoughts and distractions.
I think the biggest opportunity for the Head Types is to take their anxiety to Jesus instead of depending upon their self and some of their unconscious defense mechanisms that have worked for them.
On some level they work, and that’s why they’re doing that. That’s why their personality is formed around that.
But the opportunity is to become aware of their anxiety, not defend against it, and then really take that to the Lord and give him access to their souls in that area.
Bill
Because anxiety is the basic emotional posture of the Head Types, fear and worry, and so forth.
That’s the main emotion that is disordered in them and tends to unconsciously control them.
So what you’re describing Kristi is the importance of…. this is really funny, Charlie is sitting in my lap now. He’s always in your lap during Soul Talks. But he’s sensing some warmth here from Bill. Nice to have you, little guy. I forgot what I was saying.
Kristi
It’s okay, we’re talking about Head Types and about them trusting Jesus with their fear and their anxiety instead of depending upon themselves.
The opportunity for Fives would be instead of fearing that they don’t have what they need, or they don’t know enough, or that they’re not going to have the energy that they need for the next test, to trust the Lord to sustain them and provide for them in that.
For the Sixes to not just look to people, problem-solving, their great social connections and networks, and authority for security.
Because the Sixes are really looking for that security, they really want that sense of security because they feel they feel self-doubt.
But to really look to Jesus for being their Good Shepherd who is a shield around them, they’re loved by Him, and find their security in that.
Then for the Sevens, in their fear to not just be distracted and planning the next thing and other ideas and moving fast, but to really be looking to be present to Jesus and with Jesus and join him practicing his presence and letting his presence bring them that peace that that they need and that sense of grounding.
Bill
My favorite Seven story is when our daughter, not the not the Enneagram Nine, Briana, that was on the podcast, but our other daughter Jenny was in high school and she was doing her homework after dinner.
While doing her homework she was watching her favorite TV show, and she had her computer open with instant messenger chatting. And she was listening to music. She had like six things going on.
I said, “Jenny, I don’t think you’re going to get much homework done with all these diversions.”
She said, “Oh, Dad, no, I can do this.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Really, Dad, I can do all this.”
That was before we knew the Enneagram.
Sevens love that multitasking stimulation that keeps them alive and engaged and they’re sharp with that.
It’s important with the Enneagram, whatever our type, that this is a basic principle in personality, something we talk a lot about in Soul Talks.
It’s the importance of being aware of our emotions, our needs, our dysfunctions, our sins, as well as the blessings of God in our lives and other people in our lives.
Because we tend to shut down the deeper emotions within us.
Kristi
As we lean into the emotions, this awareness, it’s really good for our formation in Christ because it gives him access to be forming us, to be redeeming us.
Bill
So Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything.”
So some of us think he is saying, “Shut down your anxiety. Don’t worry, that’s stupid, or maybe even a sin.”
I don’t think it’s what Paul’s saying.
I think he’s saying, “When you feel anxious, which is a natural human experience to be stressed, and to worry about things, form those worries into prayers and petitions, and ask the Lord for what you need.”
Kristi
See that that’s so good, Bill.
Because I think what most of us do is hear the “Do not be anxious,” and we feel shame.
We shut down and we go away from God because we feel like “I’m bad because I’m anxious, and I can’t not be anxious. I don’t know how to not be anxious. And if God needs me to not be anxious to be in relationship with him, I guess I just can’t be in relationship with him.”
But when we hear, “When you are anxious, come to me,” that’s basically what Jesus is saying.
When you’re anxious, the Holy Spirit is saying through Paul, “When you’re anxious, pray, reach out to me, come to me, draw near to me.”
Bill
The Psalmist is anxious, worried, and fearful on many occasions.
Jesus was anxious in the Garden of Gethsemane and at other times.
But you know, the way of the Lord is that we would not be governed by anxiety.
Jesus did not have an anxiety disorder. He wasn’t ruled by worry and fear.
He was ruled by love.
He was ruled by the Holy Spirit.
But emotionally, he experienced all the emotions that we do.
Hebrews 4 says that we have a High Priest who is able to empathize with us and our weaknesses.
Kristi
Jesus felt anxiety.
Bill
So the Head Types especially need to know this — don’t just divert your anxiety away.
The way to work through that is to feel it, to admit it, and to pray through the things that you’re worried about.
To talk to somebody safe who will validate your emotions, because we need to integrate these aspects into our sense of self.
Kristi
You’ve lived this, you wrote about this, in Jesus’ Easy Yoke. It’s really all about that.
Bill
It’s all about getting in the yoke with Jesus, which is an attachment.
A yoke attaches to oxen.
The mature and wise ox is there. He knows how to pull that plow steady across the field, and then that young buck comes in and needs to learn from the mentor.
Kristi
See, that’s so good because the Fives will tend to attach to knowledge.
The Sixes will tend to attach to systems in society and people for security and belonging.
The Sevens will tend to attach to gluttony, to pleasure, to feeling things that make them feel good.
All of those prevent them from being attached to Jesus.
Bill
That’s the thing with our compulsions and our dysfunctions, and obviously, our sins.
They are ways that we’re disconnecting from God in the moment. And here and now, God is present and loving us.
Kristi
Yeah. I hope that if you’re listening, you’re not hearing us pick on the head types. That’s not what we mean.
All of us struggle with anxiety to some level, all of us struggle with false attachments instead of attaching to Jesus.
So please know we’re not picking on you Head Types. We all have empathy for you.
We’re just wanting you to be aware of this opportunity for you.
Also, I think, as we’re talking about these Triads on Soul Talks, it helps people because when you’re trying to find your number, if you can understand your Triad and you can understand what is the basic emotion that you really struggle with, it can help you with some of these numbers that have a lot of similarities.
So a lot of a lot of Sixes mistype as Twos.
Well, if you can understand the Head Type, it might help you say, “Oh, actually, I think I’m more of a Six, not a Two.”
Bill
Because the Head Types and the Heart Types are very different.
Kristi
Yeah, and Threes and Sevens often mistype, so there can be a lot of mistyping.
So understanding the Triads can really help you find your number if you’re looking for that.
Bill
That’s a tool that we always use when we’re coaching people. We use the Enneagram.
And when we’re trying to help someone find the number that’s the best fit for them, which personality type best describes them? Because you could have some of all nine types in you, certainly some of a few.
But we’ll ask the question, “Which Triad do they seem mostly to belong in?”
So we hope you’ve been tuning into the previous podcasts on the Enneagram. We’ve done one on the Heart Types, the Gut Types, and then today, the Head Type.
Next, we’ll be talking about the spiritual disciplines within the three different triads — the three groupings of three personality types, nine personality types in total in the Enneagram system that we’ve been talking about.
Kristi
Jesus, thank you that you love us, that you invite us when we are anxious to run to you, to talk to you, to tell you, to invite you into what is the fear that we’re feeling, and that you are with us and that that you don’t abandon us.
I pray, Lord, for each of us to run to you, looking to you for the security that we need in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Bill
Check out our Soul Shepherding blog for our free Enneagram coaching tool.
Kristi
We have a number of free Enneagram videos on Soul Shepherding’s YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram.
Bill
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Kristi
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