I was feeling discouraged and spiritually low. As I laid in bed I told the Lord I was really missing feelings of consolation and longing to feel his loving presence.
Then in church I was feeling lonely and out of place and I was questioning if I was making a difference in my life.
At the end of the service, a ministry leader came up to me and beamed, “It’s great to see you in church this morning. I’m so thankful for your ministry. I get stressed a lot and can’t tell you how much I appreciate the way you minister God’s peace to me and draw me into intimacy with Jesus.”
That was a piece of consolation! Sadly, I didn’t want to depend on it. I thought, Oh no, is that just my ego wanting to be stroked? Am I caring too much about what people think about me instead of relying on God?
Then at lunch, Bill and I were talking in our kitchen when all of a sudden a little hummingbird crashed into our sliding glass door and fell to the ground! It was laying on the patio unable to get up it. It was trembling and shaking in fear. It looked like it was about to die!
Immediately Bill started praying in faith — but then a huge black crow screeched down from a tall tree! It was going to devour the little hummingbird! But Bill stood there and shooed it away.
He called on the promise of Jesus, “My Father cares for the little birds! Not one of them will fall to the ground apart from his awareness and care. Thank you, God, you care for this precious hummingbird, just like you care for us. Revive this bird, O Lord! Just as Christ rose from the dead, raise up this hummingbird!” (Matthew 6:26, 10:31; Luke 12:6-7, 24, Ephesians 2:6)
For five minutes our whole world was this tiny, quivering, barely alive birdie at our feet! We kept a prayer vigil and Bill kept shooing away the circling crow.
From deep in my spirit I cried out, Oh Lord, don’t let this bird have a long-suffering! That fear is exactly what Satan uses to throw me down into desolation and despair. This was real spiritual warfare for me.
I kept praying for healing, but I realized maybe God wanted to use us to help. So I searched on the Internet on how to care for a badly injured hummingbird. I learned that they needed to eat every five minutes so Bill started to walk to our jasmine vine in full and fragrant bloom to get a branch.
At just that moment the hummingbird rose up and flew away!
God’s message to me was “Kristi, I’m here! My presence is with you. I am actively caring for you and using you to minister to others.” It was a consolation, a manifestation of our heavenly Father’s tender-hearted care, an answer to my prayer from that morning.
Sometimes it doesn’t feel like God is caring for you and me. Sometimes our circumstances seem to show us that God is distant or even unkind.
But here is a reminder of the eternal truth that the Father of mercies hears the cries of a little hummingbird! The Abba God of Jesus hears your cries too! (Romans 8:15-16).
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120-Courage: The Courage to Feel
